even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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