Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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