No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My feet surprised me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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