Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
