I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
