it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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