I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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