What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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