I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
