Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
