Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
