I hate all girls vehemently.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
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tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
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I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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