What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
