Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
