Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
