then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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