i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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