I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
