i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
