it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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