Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
