I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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