I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
