A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
