Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
