I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
