toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
