Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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