I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
