Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
