He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
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i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
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We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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