The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
