glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just had sex on a roof
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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