So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
