It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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