oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
