My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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