You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
