I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
