dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
