somebody snuck up and got me drunk
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize