Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
