Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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