i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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