You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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