you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
