oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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