We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
