in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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