i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
