You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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