Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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