Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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