Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
