did you get engaged???
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
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The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
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No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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