It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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