I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
