Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
