its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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