It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
