I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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