sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think my moral compass just broke
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