i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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