awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
